


If I Was You, And You Were Me, How Would Our Lives Turn Out To Be?

by Catastrophe641



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dreams, Fluff, Gen, Levi & Eren's Relationsip Is Platonic - Not Romantic, Possible Spoilers, Role Reversal, possibly ooc characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-03-29 10:03:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3892237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catastrophe641/pseuds/Catastrophe641
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren had a dream one night. And like the accidental idiot he tends to be, he talks to his Corporal about it. Openly chastising, but silently intrigued, Levi finds himself wondering about it later that night. </p><p>Only his dreams will tell the tale of a role reversal of epic proportions.</p><p>*Fixed the tags, because I was an idiot!*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Dream?

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been creeping in the SNK/AOT fandom for a while now. I've written for another fandom before (which I will not talk about), but have kind of lost interest in writing for it. This is my first work for another fandom, so feedback would be wonderful! I guess this is sort of a test to see how I do. I will post more as I get it done.
> 
> But anyway...Let me explain a few things before we get started!
> 
> I saw a prompt somewhere, at some point in time, about a canon verse story where Levi and Eren's roles had been swapped. I don't know why I decided to take it on, because this has turned into a massive project. But I am intent to finish it, though I haven't yet decided how far into the story line I will go with it. 
> 
> I want to make it clear that my (attempted) goal was to swap their roles, but keep their back stories as close to canon as possible. I hope I do all right. There are some major spoilers about how the show and manga's plot plays out, so don't go further if you don't wish for anything to be spoiled. But I'm remotely sure that only the early chapters will be spoiled. 
> 
> I hope you like it.

The day had started off strange enough. Levi had gone to the basement to get Eren only to find him tangled in his own chains on the floor. Levi had cringed at the mere thought of how disgusting the floor must have been and how uncomfortable it was for the brat. To make matters worse they had arrived on time to the mess hall only to be informed that the cook had woken up late and it would be another thirty minutes before breakfast was ready.

So now the entire day’s schedule was going to be messed up and Levi had the strangest feeling that it was only going to get worse.

And for once he hated being right.

Breakfast had been a disaster. The kitchen caught on fire, so everyone went without breakfast and ran around trying to put it out. It would take weeks to fix the place up and put it back in working order. Levi was thoroughly pissed and not ready to deal with anyone’s shit by the time he and Eren left the room to go train.

“Corporal Levi?” Eren asked out of nowhere as he walked with his Corporal to the training grounds.

“What is it brat?” Levi responded in his usual bored tone, but if you knew him well enough you could detect the irritation that was just beneath his skin.

“What do you think things would be like if our roles were reversed?”

Levi paused in his walking. He slowly turned to look at the overgrown brat with disbelief in his eyes. “What the hell made you ask something stupid like that?”

“I don’t know, sir.” Eren quickly diverted his gaze to his feet and kicked at a small piece of gravel.

“I think you do know. So just spit it out already. I swear you hold your words in like you’re holding in a shit.”

Eren cringed at the disgusting metaphor. “I had this dream, sir.”

“A dream? You slept well enough to actually dream?” Levi folded his arms over his chest, his irritation growing.

“I did, sir.”

“And in this dream we had exchanged places, yes?”

“Yes, sir. I was Humanity’s Strongest and you were Humanity’s Hope.”

Levi was still looking at the boy. He couldn’t bring himself to understand what could possibly spur the boy to have such a dream. It was rare that people slept well enough to dream, much less come up with as stupid an idea as role swapping for the plot line, what with all the stress and other assorted things to worry about around here. And with the way Eren had been found this morning it was hard to believe he had slept that well.

It was stupid for him to have vocalized his thoughts on the matter too. He promptly smacked the boy upside the head and pulled him down so they were face to face. “If I ever hear you spouting bullshit about crazy dreams again, I will make sure that you are under Hanji’s care for a month, that you have stable duty until you can’t see straight, and I will kick your ass before bed every night until you learn to keep that shit to yourself. Understood?”

Eren swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat. “Y-yes sir.” And with that they were on their way again.

Levi would never admit it, but he was secretly curious about Eren’s dream. So curious in fact, that when he fell asleep every night that week, he dreamt of what it would be like if he and Eren held each other’s roles in the world.  
  
**_If I was you…And you were me…How would our lives turn out to be?_**


	2. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi dreams of events that might have lead his and Eren's roles to be swapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify a few things before you read:
> 
> 1\. I made changes to the order of events; I think it will be obvious what I mean by this, but I will explain later.
> 
> 2\. Just a reminder that my goal was to keep back stories as close as possible to the original ones, the only thing that should change is the order and time of events and the roles that Levi and Eren play.
> 
> 3\. Feel free to comment with any questions you may have about the story!

It was almost too perfect of a day, really. The clouds floated along gracefully in the sky, birds danced around in the air, singing happily, and the sounds of happy children filled the air. Eren, on the other hand, was lying on his back in the grass, neglecting the chore of collecting wood he was supposed to be tending too. Oh, if his mother could see him! He’d be in for an ear full, probably an ear tug or two as well and a nice switch to his round, little bottom.

He didn’t want that. So it was probably a good thing when his adopted sister, Mikasa, snapped him from his day dreaming and got him moving back toward home. His little legs carried his ten year old self as quickly as they could, with the added weight of his very small load of wood, to catch up with her.

An argument with Garrison soldier Hannes later and the two kids were back inside the boundary of Shiganshina, the town they called home. And being that Shiganshina opened out into the world of Titans, it meant that the Survey Corps used it quite often to make their expeditions.

It was a dream of his to join them and help humanity work toward being free of the walls. It was no secret how he felt about being couped up either. He vocalized that often and very well for being so young. So the first thing Eren did when he heard and saw the people lining up was rush over, leaving Mikasa to chase him down.

But it didn’t take long before she had to pull him away. Eren always found a way to make people mad and that’s exactly what he had done. They quickly returned home after Mikasa scolded him, only for him to get a lecture from his mother as well. It felt like everyone was against him, except his father, who seemed to be quite impressed with his tenacity. But his mother’s out right refusal to accept what he wanted had him storming from the house, Mikasa hot on his tail.

But it was a good thing that the two had taken off, because close childhood friend, Armin, was in need of some help. A bit of disappointment on Eren’s behalf later and the three are discussing why Armin was being bullied to begin with. It didn’t take long for the conversation to shift into the topic of how safe the walls where.

That was when the ground shook with an incredible force that had the three wondering what was going on. They rushed away from their river hideaway and out into the open streets to find themselves staring up at the smoking hand of a huge titan that towered over the walls.

The world seemed to stand still as everyone stared in wonder as the titan rose to its full height.

Then everything was a flurry of activity and chaos. Rubble flew through the air, people where blown back and crushed, and screams of horror filled the air. Titans began to flood into the city through what was once the gate to the outside.

In a moment of sheer panic, Eren and Mikasa realize that their home is in the area worst hit by the initial blow and quickly race to find their mother. But upon turning the corner their hearts stop. Their home was collapsed and among the rubble of it laid their mother, crushed under a beam, begging them to leave.

In the end they were drug away by Hannes, leaving Eren to look back as his mother was devoured and eaten by an ugly, towering beast. It wasn’t long before Eren found himself on a boat, outside the city, heading for Wall Rose and the safety it would hopefully bring. It was then that he vowed to erase the world of the titans and get vengeance for his mother’s death.

______________________________

The fact that he had made it this long seemed like a miracle. Surviving in the underground was no easy task, but having the Military Police on your ass didn’t make it any easier. But it truly amazed Levi that they hadn’t called in reinforcements yet. He’d heard of what the Survey Corps could do, so why weren’t they coming in and stopping him?

Probably because they didn’t get along with the Military Police and they had bigger issues to attend too. And when Levi said big, he literally meant big; Titans where definitely a big ass problem. Not that he’d ever seen one, or been even remotely close to the outer wall for that matter, but he had heard the rumors and stories about how large they truly where.

He felt a bit lucky that he didn’t have to deal with any of that first hand. He knew how paranoid some people where about the walls. How they were afraid that what happened with Wall Maria would happen again, but as far as he was concerned his worries lied in making it from one day to the next and trying to keep his friends Isabel and Farlan alive and well.

None of them were getting any younger, but they were in good shape; as good a shape as living in the underground allowed. Food was usually scarce as was clean water. Sickness wasn’t uncommon and most people died young or turned to theft to get by, which was why the MP was on his ass all the damn time.

His little “gang,” as most called them, had become quite notorious over the years. After breaking away from his old group and pissing off his mentor, who just happened to be a serial killer no less, he had found Isabel and Farlan and after nursing them back to health, had teamed up with them. Things had been stop and go with them for a while, and acting as a mother of sorts for the two near-death teens had tried his patience to no end, but they had pulled through and were eternally grateful for his help. In return they had insisted on sticking to him like glue, Isabel more so than Farlan, and so they just became his little helpers without even having his approval.

He grew attached to them faster than he would have thought and soon the stress of them being around just seemed to disappear. Now they had been together for…at least ten years. He had honestly lost count and he didn’t really care. They were like family to him now, something that he’d never really had before, and he found it refreshing to have people to talk to who actually cared.

Now here they were, all these years later, celebrating his twenty-ninth birthday and planning to steal some much needed, newer 3DMG from the closest MP facility up top. It wasn’t gonna be easy to pull off, but they had snuck in and out for stuff before, so they could do it again. But security had been upped since their last run because another, much larger gang from the underground had decided to hit several of the MP facilities all during the light of day. That meant they wouldn’t be able to follow their usual plan, so they had been using their secret entrance to and from the underground to do some reconnaissance in order to make sure it was still doable.

And if the information Farlan had brought back was accurate, then they’d be able to pull the heist sometime in the next few days. All that was left to do was prep.


	3. The Next Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren earns his rank and squad. Levi and friends have a run in with the Survey Corps. History repeats itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I decided to title these chapters? I hate chapter titles!

Three years of training.

Yes, three years of hard and slightly dysfunctional, Hell on Earth training under the rule of ex-Survey Corps commander Keith Shadis had finally come to an end.

And somehow, with his crazed determination and bullheaded stubbornness, Eren had come out on top as number one of the one hundred and fourth trainee squad. He had even beaten his own sister for the top spot. If you’d told him three years ago that his sister would be below him in anything physical he would have laughed in your face and said “I wish.” But here he was, standing tall and proud as number one, while Commander Erwin Smith gave his speech to try and entice the young cadets to join the Corps.

It wasn’t what he had expected, if anything it felt like it would sway people away from the Corps, but Eren had known for years that Survey was where he wanted to be. But when decision time came he was amazed to find who had chosen to stay along with him. Apparently his power house speeches in the barracks had paid off.

And it was afterwards that time seemed to fly.

Before he knew it three more years had passed. He found himself with the highest titan kill count in the Corps. He was their pride and poster boy. Commander Erwin had recently promoted him to Lance Corporal and given him his own special squad, the special operations squad, which quickly became the strongest squad the Corps would ever have.

He chose his sister, Mikasa, and lifelong friend, Armin, to be the first members, but they turned him down, saying they needed to stay in their current positions as squad leaders. So when the next group of trainees came in he chose two of them, Eld and Gunther. Before too long two other soldiers, Petra and Olou, proved their worth, so he added them too.

He trained them hard, worked with them for long hours at a time until they could all read each other’s movements and work as a complete unit. But no one was prepared for what would happen in the months to come.

______________________________

Levi flew through the air, Farlan to his left, Isabel to his right. Nothing had gone to plan and now they had soldiers on their ass. The MP had finally called in the Corps to come get them and they had been waiting for them. How they knew about their plan was beyond him; maybe someday he’d figure it out. They had been hitting the same place for years, so perhaps it was just that they had grown predictable.

Well if they made it out of this then they would relocate and steal from a different facility. But that was _if_ they made it out alive and didn’t get killed or locked up or worse…not that he wanted anything worse to happen. As a matter of fact, fuck that line of thought; he had more pressing issues to worry about.

Like the fact that some burly ass blonde was hot on their asses; huge fuck of a man; how was the maneuver gear even keeping him up? Not to mention the lovely group of soldier lackeys he had with him that all appeared to be huge motherfuckers as well. Or maybe it was just his smaller than average size that he hated to admit to and never wanted to talk about, much less hear anyone else mention… _ever_.

A sharp turn to the right had them flying over some of the down trodden buildings that where a constant eye sore in the underground. They avoided a few low reaching stalactites, perching on them briefly to grab their bearings before moving on.

“Split up and regroup back at base.” Levi said just loud enough for the other’s to hear. They nodded in acknowledgement and took off in opposite directions, steering away from him. Looking back over his shoulder Levi watched as the soldiers dispersed, leaving just blondie and the other huge ass blonde to follow after him. Surely he could out maneuver them in his sleep.

So he went low, flying into an alleyway and glancing back once more to see blondie having a bit of difficulty. He swerved round a few more corners and found that no one was behind him. He was home free, so he hooked a sharp right, only be tackled with more force than was necessary. But he spun himself out of it, throwing the large blonde off to the side and into the wall.

Now where was the other one?

He spotted a blur to his right. So the big ass blondes could move faster than he thought. He dodged the attack, but found himself hitting the wall this time.

“Did you get him, Erwin?” Blonde number two asked.

“No.” The other, Erwin, responded just as Levi made his move.

One of Erwin’s blades went flying off to the left, the blade Levi had used to disarm him glinting dangerously. The other blonde stepped in, telling him to take a look around. He glanced to his left to see Farlan and Isabel being detained. He stood down, letting his arms fall into the hidden depths of his cloak. He listened as Erwin began to question him about the maneuver gear. But he kept quiet, even as he was forced to kneel on the dirty ground with his friends.

To many damn questions, he needed to get to the point already. This was ridiculous. And what’s this about not wanting to be rou—

Levi’s head was jerked back by his hair. Blondie number two had one hell of a grip. He gritted his teeth and snarled just as he was shoved forward, hand still on his head, face landing right in the muddy puddle in front of him. He cringed and glared up at the man who had somehow wordlessly ordered the attack.

“Where did you learn to use 3D maneuver gear?” Erwin asked again.

Still Levi remained silent. He had no plan of giving in, but Isabel just had to open her mouth.

“No one taught us, we learned on our own!” She shouted.

“We picked up the skills as a means of survival.” Farlan chimed in. “Something people like you wouldn’t understand.”

Erwin looked back to Levi, who was now being shoved further into the puddle. He squirmed, trying to break free so he could breathe. His lungs burned and his face stung where it had been cut open upon impact.

“I’m Erwin Smith, what’s your name?” The question came out smoothly, but it was muffled somewhat when it reached Levi’s ears since his head was halfway underwater. He was pulled back up roughly. He coughed and sputtered as he gasped for air. He gritted his teeth again, still refusing to make a sound.

But then Erwin threatened to get Isabel and Farlan involved. That wasn’t an option. They were the only thing he had, the closest to family he would ever get. It was just such a threat that made him find his voice.

“You bastard.” The curse slipped from his tongue like poison, eyes sharp and filled with anger.

“Your name?” Erwin insisted.

“Levi.”

“Well Levi, how about a deal?”

He might as well have sold his soul…and signed away those of his family too.

______________________________

Eren knew something wasn’t right the moment he saw the messenger rushing through the entryway gasping for breath. He stepped closer to Commander Smith, who had turned to acknowledge the panicked man with a calm expression. He felt his body go rigid as the man, having caught his breath, explained that what had happened at Shiganshina all those years ago had now repeated itself at Trost.

But it wasn’t too late, not yet; the Armored Titan had yet to show itself, Wall Rose had yet to be completely breached. There was still the smallest fragment of hope. But that sliver of hope seemed slim when the messenger explained that most of the Garrison soldiers stationed there had chosen to flee rather than fight and that the only ones who where even attempting to truly fight where the recent recruits, who were scheduled to graduate in a week. He went on to explain that they were having problems evacuating the city.

All Erwin did was turn toward him and nod his head. Eren returned the nod and headed off to assemble his squad. They had a long journey ahead of them and they would have to make it fast. He ordered a cadet to ready their horses as he raced to the west wing, where his squad would be waiting for orders.

For years he had nightmares about something like this happening. Now they had come true and he was going to have to re-experience the panic, terror, and shock all over again. He could only silently pray that no young child had to go through what he had or see what he had seen.


	4. Battle of Trost: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first portion of the events at Trost. 
> 
> Levi and friends have their first experiences with the titans. Things don't exactly go as they might have hoped.

Levi was on the wall when it happened. The loud, thunderous noise had erupted right behind him and when he turned around he was faced with the Colossal Titan itself. He hadn’t seen a titan up close yet and as if it wasn’t enough that most people made him feel small then he truly felt tiny now.

He was, after all, standing on top of the wall and he still had to crane his neck in order to look the damn thing in the eyes. He faintly registered people yelling as he watched the massive arm rise up into the air.

It was strange how calm he felt in that moment. He was his usual self, no emotion displayed on his face, as he waited for what would likely be death to come for him. His heart didn’t race and he didn’t feel the need to yell and panic. He only felt the need to fight surge through him when the arm reached its peak. As it began its descent he moved, legs pushing him toward the walls edge that encased the city of Trost.

He dropped, hands grasping the handles and fingers wrapping to pull the triggers so his wires would shoot out and hook into the wall, body twisting so he was upright when they attached. The arm came crashing down above him and he watched as the others narrowly escaped being crushed. Debris soared through the air and crashed into the city below.

When he had imagined what Shiganshina must have gone through nothing in his mind ever could have compared to this. Now he was experiencing the catastrophe first hand and he was not ready for this. The few years of training he had been put through and all the experience he had from his years in this world did little to make him feel secure about fighting the titans for the first time, but the Colossal Titan? He was not expecting this, no one was, and it was obvious.

Panic gripped the city and he watched from his place on the wall as they ran, trying to get away as the behemoth kicked a whole into the city, destroying what once was the gate into Marian territory. The metaphor that those inside the walls were like cattle seemed all too real in that moment.

He got himself back onto the top of the wall, face to face once more with the muscled face of the Colossal Titan. If anyone had a chance at beating it, it was him. He was the only one who had ever been this close.

He took aim, shot his wires, and jumped.

He swung up and behind it, high into the sky to get the right angle and velocity. Then he descended, fast and deadly, almost like a bird of prey. His blades were drawn, aim was perfect, turn just right to go in for the spin that would be his final blow, and….!

He was suddenly surrounded by a column of steam and smoke. His line of vision was gone, his form thrown off. He gasped for breathe as he fell through the vapor. When he came out the other side, the titan was gone. He quickly rerouted to the wall and prepared to receive the orders he didn’t want to hear.

______________________________

When Farlan was assigned to a different group, Isabel was nearly furious. This was not the time for her emotions to get the better of her, but she felt like splitting him from the group he was most comfortable with wasn’t a good choice. There was always a chance that things would go wrong, and while she trusted and had faith that her friends could handle it, they where _a lot_ older than the cadets around them.

She looked to Levi, hoping for some reassurance, but she found none. Levi looked just as worried and apprehensive about the situation as most of the officers around them did. She didn’t want to go through with this. If ever she regretted that they got caught, it was now. She wanted to be back in the underground, as strange as that sounded. At least there was some form of safety there, even if it wasn’t meant to last.

She watched Farlan give them one last fleeting look before he walked away. She sent up a silent prayer to any power that may be to allow him to come back safely and to watch over them all. If ever there was a time to be religious, it was now.

______________________________

Moving through the city, Levi and his group gazed upon the titans that had already entered the city. More were coming in as they moved about, meaning it was going to be a much larger task to clear the city than they first thought. This was turning out to be an even worse ordeal than it was originally thought to be. The higher ups had no idea what they had sent them all into.

Seemingly out of nowhere an aberrant appeared, having jumped from a street below. The group quickly dodged, moving out of its way as it smashed into a building. That’s when they noticed the young man, boy really, that was in the creature’s mouth. He was swallowed in one gulp just as quickly as the titan had appeared.

Levi felt a surge of rage flood his veins. He rushed forward, jumping to the next rooftop. But as he was mid air another titan sprung up. He was able to miss losing a leg, but he lost his balance and sense of direction, causing him to slam face first into the next roof. He skidded along the rough surface, blood beginning to run from the gash on his hair line.

His head throbbed violently, pounding in time with his racing heart. He could feel a tightness in his chest that made it hard to breathe. It was either a dislocated or cracked rib. His ankle was also bothering him, most likely sprained or twisted from his faulty landing. He could hear the screams of his group as they fell. He could also hear Isabel, who from what he could tell was standing in front of him, attempting to help him get his head right.

His vision was blurred, the pounding wouldn’t stop, and he wasn’t hearing things well. It all sounded far away, like there was cotton in his ears that wouldn’t come out. He could make out Isabel’s blurred silhouette in front of him, could make out the way her shadow fell over him where he was laid out on the roof.

Then suddenly the shadow was gone.

She was gone.

He could hear her screaming; screaming at a titan, begging it to put her down. His hearing came back in a rush, things cleared up and he became very aware of Isabel’s peril. He couldn’t lose her, he wouldn’t lose her. She was his close friend, his family. She had been there for him through thick and thin and now it was time for him to return the favor.

She had just been placed inside the beast’s mouth when he pushed himself to his feet and lunged forward. He’s not sure how he found the strength really, because he had been nearly out of it completely just moments before, but he placed himself in those strong jaws and held them open. Isabel’s tear stained, shocked face stared at him as he reached out, grasped her wrist tightly and flung her back onto the roof.

He got one glimpse of her face before the titan threw its head back, causing him to cling to giant teeth in order to keep from being swallowed. The titan tilted its head back down and Isabel’s face came into view once more. She screamed his name as he scrambled to get to his feet. She reached out, trying to grab him. He reached for her as well, feet slipping in the saliva that coated the titan’s mouth.

The next thing he knew, everything went black and his arm felt like it was on fire.

Then he fell.


	5. Battle of Trost: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second portion of events at Trost.
> 
> Emotions and shifters and confusion, oh my!

Farlan had been reluctant to leave his two friends behind and go with another group. But it was his orders and being so new to the military, he didn’t want to come off as disrespectful or insubordinate. There was still a chance that they would go back on their word and have them imprisoned or executed instead.

So he had set off with his group of young recruits as ordered without so much as a whine or whimper. It hadn’t taken long for them to encounter the titans and being the fresh recruits they were, they thought they could walk on water. They made a plan of attack and since Farlan was known to be a criminal who was brought in, the other’s lorded themselves over him. One of the boys, who took on the leader role, insisted that because Farlan was from the underground he was just too ignorant to help with the plan.

Farlan could easily see the flaws in what they planned to do. They weren’t considering the way the titan moved at all or wind speed or their skills or anything really. It was a headstrong plan that was going to get them killed.

And when he voiced his concerns he was met only with harsh words and hypocrisy. So he told them to have at it; that he was going to go find people who would actually work with him. So he remained on the roof top as they prepared. He turned to leave as they launched their main plan of attack and he didn’t look back when he heard them scream.

______________________________

Eren stood atop the wall next to Garrison Commander Pixis and Commander Smith. Pixis had arrived shortly before the Scouting Legion and had filled them in on the situation. Now they stood assessing the best way to go about handling it.

Erwin had sent out the retreat signal, to have all the recruits regroup on Wall Rose. There had been issues with the evacuation, but Mikasa had quickly gone down and taken care of that. But right now it was obvious that not all the recruits were back. After all he could see groups of them on the roof tops down below.

He had always hoped he would never have to see this again. But something felt off about it this time. Something was different and he had the strangest feeling it had to do with the extremely loud and odd roar that had shaken the ground earlier.

But now that everyone was evacuated, there was another urgent matter to attend to. How did they get the seemingly stranded cadets up the wall without risking the lives of far more soldiers?

______________________________

Farlan landed on the roof with the most people grouped on it and immediately began scanning the faces for Isabel and Levi. He could tell that things had gone badly for almost everyone and he was hoping upon hope that his two friend where alive and well. He saw plenty of familiar faces, all clearly afraid of what was going on.

Then he spied an unmistakable figure. Isabel was curled up against the far wall, sitting alone and staring at her feet. He made his way to her quickly, kneeling down to see what was wrong.

“Izzie? What’s wrong Izzie?” He placed a hand gently on her shoulder, trying to seem comforting.

She sniffled, wiping her snot and tears on the sleeve of her shirt. Half way through the gesture she paused and pulled back, staring at her germ riddled sleeve. Fresh tears sprung up and a terrible wail sprung from her throat. Farlan didn’t understand what was happening.

“He…he would have scolded me…for something so gross.” She sobbed.”I...I...I want big brother ba-ack.”

His face went ashen, body going cold at her words. She couldn’t possibly mean that…No. He wasn’t going to even say it in his head. Everything was going to be fine. He wasn’t…It couldn’t…

And Farlan let himself break down as well, if only for a moment in time.

______________________________

She wasn’t sure how she’d found herself here, lying face first on the ground as a titan bore down on her. She just remembered weeping with Farlan on the rooftop and then suddenly one of the cadets was screeching about how they had to try and fight. Then they were making a rush for the supplies that sat inside of a titan infested warehouse.

She remembered flying through the air at tremendous speeds. She also remembered Farlan yelling for her to slow down and not waste gas. Then she was falling and now here she was, gear broken and pushing herself up as the beast stepped closer. She was ready to give up, to let it consume her, so she could see Levi again.

But something struck a chord deep inside her. She could remember him saying something once about choosing what you would regret least in life. She could just imagine what he would say if he saw her like this.

_What the fuck are you doing Izzie!?_

_Move your ass!_

_Get the fuck out of there!_

_Don’t you dare give up on me now!_

She’d nearly given up once before after all.

And as she stared at the titan’s wide eyes she realized that after all these years, after surviving for so long, for her to give up now would not just be something she would regret in the afterlife, given that there was one, but it would also be slander to Levi and all he had ever done for her, for them all. She couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t let him die in vain.

So she grabbed what was left of one of her broken blades and was prepared to fight for her life as the titan reached for her, but she was not expecting the beast to suddenly be launched backwards by another titan. Was she losing her mind?

______________________________

What was this insanity? A man who could turn into a titan? Was it possible that the world had finally decided to rear its ugly fangs and tell humanity that nowhere was safe, not even their own neighbors could be trusted?

It was hard to believe that such a thing could be true. He had watched from the wall as the cadets, spurred on by the uplifting words, that none of them on the wall could actually understand, had made their way bravely to the supply building. And it was there, at the buildings perimeter that he had watched the strange aberrant attack its own kind.

The strangest of sights it surely had been, but now they were saying a man had emerged from the beast’s nape. And now he could see it with his own eyes.

The man and two others had been brought over the wall together. From what he understood the other two where the man’s close friends who had refused to leave his side. It reminded him of Mikasa and Armin.

As it was the three had been trying to get the soldiers to stand down. Most of them had their blades drawn and where ready to hack off the man’s head. But they were adamant that they meant no harm, that they were not the enemy. All that happened was shouting and people panicking and eventually some idiot set off the damn canon.

Now, before Eren’s very eyes, was part of a titan’s body that had appeared from nowhere. It wasn’t even complete. The arm was the most defined and complete looking, outstretched toward where the canon had blasted. The rest was an incomplete torso without skin and muscle in places, its ribs tore into the ground beneath it. It was a shocking sight that had the already on edge soldiers freaking out even more.

It was a disaster waiting to happen, but Eren had this gut feeling, which only intensified when he caught the look in Erwin’s eyes, that this disaster was going to turn into something so much bigger.


	6. Battle of Trost: Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The third and final portion of the events at Trost.
> 
> Farlan speaks out, Eren watches Erwin be silently crafty, and Levi calls bullshit on boulders and plans.

Talking the soldiers down was no easy task, but Farlan was managing as best he could. But it felt like no matter what he said they countered back with more fear than before. It was fear that would bring his friend to his death if he didn’t do something.

They just wouldn’t believe that Levi wasn’t the enemy.

In all his years, he had always despised the military. He had hated them for lording themselves over everyone else and not just fighting to help humanity. But now that he had been among the trainees for some time, he could see that perhaps that undying military loyalty might be the only way out.

So he braced himself and with gritted teeth he stood himself straight, left hand bent behind him, shoulders back, head high, and right hand fisted to come crashing over his heart. The perfect salute.

This was the only way.

And so he explained it, a way to reclaim Trost by using Levi’s powers. He spoke loud and clear, giving it his all. His emotions were placed on the back burner of his mind as he spoke. This needed to come off as a tactical move, not a way to save a friend.

His chest heaved when he finished and it was eerily silent for a moment. A hush had fallen over the group of soldiers before him and he found it unsettling. Then the one who seemed to be in charge spoke up again and Farlan’s face fell, as did his arms.

He had failed. They were going to kill him anyway.

______________________________

Eren had been watching his Commander’s face closely, but when the blonde of the trio below stepped forward to talk, he watched even closer. He didn’t miss the way Erwin’s eyes lit up and faintly glimmered at the blonde’s words about reclaiming Trost. It was a daring and risky plan, but something about it struck a chord inside Erwin and he seemed to be all for it.

Eren didn’t miss how his Commander made his way over to Garrison Commander Dot Pixis, who had the ability to stop the soldier in charge of the situation below from killing the…titan? Or was he human as he claimed to be?

He watched as Erwin whispered into the old man’s ear and saw the way Pixis began to smile. Not an ordinary smile, but a mix of his conniving smile and the pleasantly pleased one he tended to give when he was a bit too drunk.

With a look of accomplishment plastered on his face Erwin returned to where he had stood beside Eren before. And it was a short time later that Pixis stopped the soldier below from killing the three. It was announced that this plan to retake Trost would be attempted and put into effect as soon as everyone regrouped and the plan could be better organized.

He felt a strange foreboding feeling take hold of something deep within him. He knew he was going to be called upon at some point to do more than what his job description entailed. Because Erwin was going to want that man-titan hybrid as one of his pawns, and, in the end, the only way to get him, would be to use the strongest piece he already had: Eren.

______________________________

Levi wasn’t sure he could do this. After all he had only just discovered he could turn into a titan, something he was still struggling to grasp fully; so why would they expect him to be able to do it of his own volition so he could move a fucking boulder? Bullshit! He called bullshit!

He wasn’t someone’s dog, some pet to be used. They could go find an _actual_ animal to do their shit work.

That’s what he’d like to say to them anyway. Unfortunately, vocalizing those thoughts would be the death of him at this point. He was quite certain of it.

And then he had Farlan and Isabel to think about as well. If he went spouting his mouth, what kind of trouble would they get into? What would happen to them if he were put down? So he had no choice but to comply.

The plan was sketchy, relying almost completely on him. He didn’t like it. Not one fucking bit. But it was too late to turn back at this point they were on the fucking wall, in position to beeline for the boulder once the other soldiers had diverted the titans to the other portion of the city.

His heart raced as they stood atop the wall, waiting for the all clear to move out, just the small group of them: Him, Farlan, Isabel, some short woman with glasses and blonde hair, and some other guy with a truly forgettable face. His tried to calm himself by breathing in deeply and letting it out slowly through his nose. He found himself in a meditative state, minutes feeling like hours, seconds feeling like days.

“Snap out of it, Levi. We have to move.” Farlan’s voice cut through the calm and it all came rushing back in. It was time to do this…at least he hoped it would work.

______________________________

It had worked. By the grace of some higher power, Levi had fucking turned into a titan and moved that oversized hunk of rock into the hole in the wall. He just vaguely remembered any of it though and hadn’t been too pleased to wake up, chained to the wall in a nasty little cell in who knows where.

To his utter disbelief there had been visitors for a brief moment in time. One in particular, a young man, had stuck around a little longer than the others. He hadn’t given his name at the time but the questions he’d asked still rang loud in his ears.

_“Why will you fight the titans? What reason do you have to help us?”_

Levi was serious in his answer, knowing that whoever the little twerp was, he had to have known that Levi and his friends had been blackmailed into military service in the first place.

_“I want freedom. For myself and my family. If I have to take on the titans to get that, then so be it. I will make that freedom happen, or die trying.”_

_“You’d go through anything, then?”_

_“Anything and everything.”_

Perhaps it had been a foolhardy thing to say as his answer, as he wasn’t expecting what had come after the man had left. Blindfolded, chained, and dragged off to some room that went quiet the minute he was pulled inside. Shoved to his knees harshly as whispers began to fill the air. His arms roughly pulled behind his back at an awkward angle and tied off to a pole in the center of what he soon discovered was a court room.

And so his trial began. He hated it, listening to the words spoken about him, the false accusations. It made his blood boil, his anger rise until he could take it no more. He lashed out with is tongue, harsh insults falling from his lips at the men who had spewed words like poison upon the ears of the manipulated populace.

He never saw it coming. A boot made contact with the left side of his face, a single tooth falling to the floor. He was able to muster one defiant glare at the familiar face that towered over him before the next hit came. And again and again, until blood pooled at his knees where it grossly fell from his slack jawed mouth; his face aching as it became swollen and turned purple and blue and black.

He gasped for breath through a blood clogged mouth when he could not draw one through his broken and twisted nose. More blood ran into his eyes from a cut on his forehead. His ears rang and his eyesight grew blurry, but he could still make out Isabel’s figure as Farlan held her raging form back.

_“You’d go through anything, then?”_

_“Anything and everything.”_

He was paying the price he chose.


	7. Expedition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Female titans and breakdowns...not good.

A test mission: Eren wasn’t sure why he thought they would be granted more than that from a simple trial, but he supposed it was better than nothing. But now as he sat on his horse, awaiting the gate to open before this “test mission,” he wasn’t so sure about it all.

The commander had been acting a bit strange, but he had no proof that anything was wrong.

So the mission began as planned.

Then _it_ showed up.

Intelligent, female in its form, hell bent on snatching up Levi. Just what they needed today.

But they had caught it, right? Just as Erwin had planned. Eren knew something had been different the moment he laid eyes on his commander that morning.

Wrong though. It called in other titans to eat it, allowing the person from within, as it had been discovered to be a shifter as well, to escape.

And like the dutiful soldier he was, he had followed his commander’s orders and had let his squad escort Levi away. But when he heard the roar of Levi’s titan, he knew, deep in his bones, that he had made a mistake.

______________________________

Everything stood still, perhaps not truly, because the world does not really stop. But it felt as though it had. Back within the walls once more, the shock of things had set in. Levi felt terrible. They had died before his very eyes, but Eren…

He had known them, truly known them. Levi did not have that privilege. But he could see the pain behind Eren’s mask, the light that was fading from those typically brilliant eyes. He was responsible for this. The members of Eren’s squad would still be alive if he had acted faster.

It was with a heavy heart that he made his way to Eren’s quarters. The meeting had ended some time ago and Eren had rushed off as soon as it was over. Apparently, not only had he lost his squad, but he had learned, along with the others in the meeting, that Annie Leonhart, someone he had graduated as a trainee with, whom he had trusted and befriended, was in fact the female titan. They did not know her motives for wanting Levi, other than it likely had to do with the fact he was as shifter as well. But surely this new development, on top of the death of Eren’s squad, had the young man in an emotional mess.

He stood in front of the door for what felt like hours, before he finally knocked twice. He wished to apologize, but all was silent, not even the sound of someone approaching the door. So he knocked again, a little louder. Still nothing happened. He considered leaving, to come back later, but a strange thought crossed his mind.

He couldn’t say that he knew Eren well. But he had been under his care for some time now. There were very few moments when the two where apart, and so he couldn’t help but wonder…

_What if humanity’s strongest…isn’t as strong as they think?_

It had been a fleeting thought. But his mind managed to grasp onto it before it left him and it caused him to pause before he walked away. Death was hard to deal with for some. For a brief moment he considered if it had been him in Eren’s position.

He turned back to the door, a trembling hand reaching toward the knob. He twisted it, finding it to be unlocked, and pushed it open slowly, so as to keep it from being too noticeable. When it was open just enough, he squeezed through, silently shutting it behind him. What he turned to face broke his heart.

The room was in utter disarray. Bookshelves had been knocked over, their contents strewn about the floor. Paperwork had been cast into the mess on the floor as well. What Levi could only assume had once been a vase lay in a pile of sharp shards by the desk. Speaking of the desk, it was turned on its side, drawers yanked out and flung at the far wall. It looked as though a titan had rampaged through the room.

The adjoining bedroom wasn’t in any better shape. Pillows had been ripped open, the filling still falling through the air, the mattress was in the floor, the bed frame broken and tossed about. The sheets were in a pile in the middle of the small room.

It was this pile of sheets where Levi saw him.

Covered in sweat and tears and snot and blood, laid out in a sobbing heap, was Eren. And despite how gross he was Levi could only bring himself to fall to the floor and hold him.

They stayed like that, Levi holding Eren as he sobbed and got his nasty fluids all over Levi’s good clothes. It was long after the sun had set that Eren made to move. But Levi refused to leave him alone as he wanted. He carefully helped Eren up and guided him out of the room and down the corridor to the room he was supposed to be locked up in right now.

As long as he had been gone, someone was likely panicking trying to find him, but he had other things to worry about. He told Eren to sit on the bed and then quietly left the room. He returned a short time later to find Eren still sitting there, thankfully, but with a far off look on his face. He brought with him a change of clothes for the officer, a bucket of water and cloth, and a basic first aid kit that he had snatched from the kitchen.

He was careful, talking softly to Eren the whole time as he went about this.

_“I’m going to take off your shirt now.”_

_“This might sting a bit.”_

_“Can you lift your arm for me? No? I’m going to do it then.”_

He tended to each physical wound with the utmost care. It wasn’t until the very end that Eren let out a whimper. The way Levi was treating him had brought back long buried memories of his mother. New tears fell from his eyes as the memories assaulted him.

Levi was quick to wipe them away. He was shocked when Eren’s hands wrapped tightly around his wrists and stared into his own eyes.

“I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t think I can.” He whispered, the small bursts of air hitting Levi’s face.

It took Levi a moment to respond. “Are you saying that you are giving up?”

Eren looked away, his hands dropping from Levi’s wrists to fall at his side. “No.” He shook his head and headed for the door. “I’m saying that I don’t have any fight left in me to continue. Mikasa once told me to choose my battles wisely. I don’t think she actually meant this. She was likely referring to all the fights I used to get into when I was younger, but I know when I’m beat.”

He opened the door before him and began to walk out, but Levi spoke up. “I know you’ve fought hard, Eren. But you once asked me what reason I had for helping you fight the titans. So now I’m asking you to tell me what your reason was. Why did you choose to fight them?”

Eren looked over his shoulder at Levi who was still hunched over on the bed. He thought back to when it all began, back to the fall of Wall Maria. He thought of watching as a titan ripped his mother in half. Thinking back, his reason wasn’t half as good as Levi’s. Sure there was the underlying desire to no longer be couped up inside the walls, to be free. But it had never been his main reason after that day.

He almost didn’t want to utter the one word that was his reason, a reason that had long since died. But he answered anyway, because Levi deserved an answer.

“Revenge.”

It was a shitty reason and he knew it. That’s why he turned away again, hands clenched into fists as he finally stormed away. And Levi watched him go. He did not follow; he did not call out or chase him. He knew…Eren had reached his breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me too much. I never intended to go this way, but alas dear readers, this is where it went!


	8. The End Of A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simple plans, not so much, and everything is not as it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter, but it was necessary to break the story up properly.

The plan was supposed to be simple. They would draw Annie into the underground tunnels and capture her. But nothing is ever simple.

It had not worked. And now he lay in a pile of rubble, a broken board protruding from his chest, blood spurting out around it. He felt broken and helpless. He could hear the screams, knew that among them where his family and Eren’s friends.

But what did it matter anymore? The one person he had found himself looking up to, the man who had put kept him in check, who had given him strength, had walked away. Eren had walked away. He had quit and Commander Smith had let him. No one had even tried to stop him.

Now Levi was left to feel like he had made a mistake in letting him walk away. If the one person who was supposed to be so strong…could give up this easily…then why couldn’t he?

It was an odd feeling, bleeding to death. For all the times he had been fatally wounded, for all the times he had watched as his skin had healed closed so fast…now it did not.

He faintly wondered if it was because he had given up. Was it really so hard to believe that if he stopped fighting, that if he said he was done and truly believed it, that his titan powers would cease to exist? Stranger things had happened.

They had proven that in order for him to shift, he had to have a specific goal. So if his goal was to die, would his body let him?

What would everyone think when they found him? If they found him, if they survived? So many questions…but no time to get answers.

He closed his eyes, let the darkness take him, and drifted away to thoughts of a young man with brown hair and bright eyes.

_If he can give up…So can I._

The last thing that flitted through his mind was Eren’s words.

_“I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t think I can.”_

_“I’m saying that I don’t have any fight left in me to continue.”_

_“I know when I’m beat.”_

He would never hear the final screams of his family as the female titan ripped them apart.

______________________________

Levi woke with a start, his eyes wide and his breathing heavy. It was unusual for him to wake from his dreams in such a manner. It was unusual for him to dream like this at all. It took him a moment to gather his bearings. It had all seemed so real. So very, truly real. He looked at his hands, he checked his pulse. He made sure there was no broken board jutting from his chest.

Once he was certain that he was in fact himself, not some titan shifter that looked, spoke, and acted like him, he glanced at his window. The sun was brightly shining in through the curtains, proving that he had overslept and that breakfast had long been over. This was so very unlike him.

He pulled himself from the tangled mess of sheets he was in and suddenly noticed how gross he felt. A shower was definitely in order to remove the layer of sweat from his body. Not caring that his entire day would be thrown off schedule because of his late awakening, he simply grabbed a change of clothes and marched into his bathroom to clean up.

Five minutes later he strutted back out and rather than feeling refreshed, he still felt as though something was off. He wouldn’t place the feeling, though he recognized it as odd. It left him feeling confused and frazzled, just…weird.

It was truly unexplainable, but he shook it off and went to find Eren. Hopefully he hadn’t gotten into too much trouble as of yet.


	9. Back To Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promises are made and Levi's mind is a bit of a mess.

Levi found Eren waiting in the mess hall for him. He was fiddling with the hem of his shirt and looking quite incredibly bored. Levi cleared his throat, which promptly got Eren’s attention and had him scrambling to get up and across the room as quickly as he could.

It was at this very moment in time that Levi recalled the strange discussion he’d had with Eren just a week prior.

_“I had this dream, sir.”_

It was like the strange feeling within him and Eren’s sudden proximity had triggered this recollection.

_“What do you think things would be like if our roles were reversed?”_

That’s what the kid had asked. His dream suddenly made sense. It all kicked into place, giving him a rather painful throb in his head too. But he felt something else. And he felt oddly compelled to voice this feeling and the thoughts that went with it. He had the oddest feeling that it all had to do with his dreams over the last week.

“Say, Eren.”

Eren was a bit shocked that Levi was referring to him by his name, but he looked at him nonetheless. “Yes.”

“Promise me something.”

“Like what, sir?

“Promise me, that no matter how hard things get; that no matter how stupid or pointless your reason for killing the titans might suddenly seem; that you won’t give up and walk away.”

Eren gave him an odd look for a while. He stared at his Corporal, searching for some form of explanation, but found none.

“Of course, sir. I promise.”

“I expect you’ll keep that promise then.”

“I will.”

“Good, because I would hunt you down and beat your shitty ass if you didn’t.”

“I would expect no less from you, Corporal.”

“And if I should die and you decide to break your promise then, don’t think for one second that I won’t come back and kick your ass.”

Eren was silent at that, a slight look of horror on his face.

“Now get out there and train.”

Eren saluted and ran off to join the others. Levi watched him go, but it was different this time. It wasn’t like it had been in his dream. This Eren was different. This Eren, he hoped, wouldn’t give up.

He suddenly let out a quiet chuckle. How stupid of him. To think that he was plagued for a week by some shitty concept put into his mind by a brat.

“Like hell our roles would ever be swapped. You couldn’t handle it, kid.” He shook his head briefly before catching a glimpse of Erwin conversing with Hanji across the way.

He had one last fleeting thought as he watched his commander.

_If I was you…and you were me…how would our lives turn out to be?_

A fleeting thought that he let pass by and vanish. He didn’t need any more stressful dreams that messed up his schedule.

Oh no, no more of that.

He was fine right where he was. He was fine with being Humanity’s Strongest. He liked it that way.

But there was something different now, about the way he viewed Eren. The boy had been through a lot, far too much for someone so young. His experiences were not at all like Levi’s own, but that didn’t make them any less important or substantial.

Perhaps those dreams had been nothing more than the wild wandering of his mind, but they had put a few things into perspective for him.

Now there was a little voice in his head beckoning him to take action. For the first time he actually felt inclined to listen to it.

So he did.


	10. Platonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthdays and platonic fluffiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go after this, but it's really more of an epilogue/wrap up type thing than a chapter.

Levi had never been especially good with emotions and properly expressing them. To say his childhood was disjointed would be an understatement. He could vaguely recall a time when he had a mother’s love, when he was cradled in a loving embrace in warm arms, even though they were so fragile they looked about to break. He remembered good night kisses and morning hugs and tender looks; a brief time of discipline in an attempt to set him on the straight and narrow, at least as straight and narrow as their circumstances allowed.

But most of that was overshadowed by the throws of death and malnutrition. Days spent watching over a frail woman as best he could with little thought of his own health. A single room with only but one bed that was always occupied. His hair grew long, his clothes tattered and the loving warmth faded until only the cold hands of death occupied the bed.

That was when he was taught to fight. Taught to hide away his emotions, to be stoic, so no man could harm him or hold even the smallest inkling of weakness against him. No one could say he was too much like a girl, for his height and body shape already were against him.

It was like that for the longest time. There was no love, no smiles, no feelings. Then Isabel and Farlan came into the picture. For once things looked up. But so long had he refrained from feeling that it was hard for him to break free and show that he was human.

When he lost them, he broke free of those walls for a moment in time. But as quick as they came down, they were back up again. And there they had stayed, even as he lost others, even as people died before his eyes he had kept them up.

Not since them had he had a true friend, but he was hoping to find one in Eren.

That’s why he had done this after all. It was the kid’s birthday. And even as much as Levi hated his own, he knew it would be important to the younger. It was his coming of age, so to speak.

Eighteen.

Not a large number, but one that for any adolescent seemed to be far too important and greatly over exaggerated.

But the look on Eren’s face when he’d seen the meal Levi had managed to acquire was worth it. No one in the Survey Corps had eaten this well in ages. It was a grand feast for all. Though Levi chose not to tell Eren it had been him who made it happen.

Eren was no fool though. He had half a brain. And so it was only after everyone had cleared out, off to bed with too full bellies, that he approached Levi.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“You’ll have to excuse me, sir, but don’t play stupid.”

Levi arched a brow and hummed to himself. “Happy birthday you little shit.”

Eren couldn’t help but smile and chuckle softly. “You know, that almost sounds endearing these days.”

“Maybe it is.” Levi murmured.

“Really now?” Eren was pushing.

“I’ve been thinking.” Levi changed the subject. “About that dream you had.”

“I believe you said not to bring it up, sir. It was a stupid dream anyway.”

Levi turned to look at him. “But it wasn’t. It wasn’t at all.” That peaked Eren’s interest, so he turned to look at Levi as well. “It was perfectly founded. You’re young, you respect me, admire me in ways I don’t understand. It’s natural for you to wonder what it would be like to be me.”

“Sir, please, we don’t have to-” Levi interrupted him.

“But I need to say this Eren, so don’t interrupt me. You made me think. I had never considered what would have happened if things had turned out differently for me. But your dream made me think about it.”

There was a pause; a breath of silence that Eren didn’t dare break.

“I dreamed, Eren. For the first time in years I dreamed. I slept in; it’s why I was late to get you that one morning. I was acting strange, surely you noticed, and it was all because I fucking dreamed. It sounds so crazy, it would be crazy if it were anyone else, wouldn’t it?”

“But I want you to know that I learned something from my dreams. I learned that I’m actually happy that things have played out this way. For all the loss, and the pain, I wouldn’t want it any other way. You don’t need to be me; you shouldn’t want to be me. You should want to be you. You should try to be happy with the life you have.”

“Don’t regret your life, Eren. Don’t spend time thinking of what could have been, just live. Do you understand?”

Eren looked at Levi; truly looked at him. And for the first time he saw the pain, the scars that time had left on him. He saw everything he knew and the shadows of what he wanted to know. “I do, sir. I understand.”

Eren’s eyes widened almost comically as Levi scooted closer and wrapped his arms around him. He was hugging him; Levi was hugging him. So Eren hugged back.

Levi just clung tighter. He needed this, he needed someone who could hold him and care and laugh with him or at him, to let his walls down around, and he didn’t even care how ugly he might look. But Eren was there and he was offering up something that Levi hadn’t had in ages.

There was nothing sexual about it. Neither of them saw their actions as romantic. But it was loving, just not the kind of love most sought out. No, this was a relationship where two people simply needed each other’s company.

It was the beginning of something new for them both. Levi would tell Eren his darkest secrets; they would share all their pain, all their anger, all their emotions, in a way no one else could handle. They became close friends, so close they considered each other family.


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let us say our good-byes.

Years later, when they were old and decrepit, long since retired from the service, they would sit outside in quiet solitude, basking in the warmth that came from the other’s presence. And it would be there, on an old, wooden porch, beneath the shade of the tree, that they would have their final moments together.

For the battle against the titans had aged them far beyond the number of years they had lived. Their bodies broken and battle scarred, having held up for so long only as a miracle. And looking back, as they often times did, they themselves though it a miracle that they had such good fortune to find such loving wives, who had long since been looking after them, and had understood that they were simply close friends, nothing more.

It was on a day were the breeze stood still and the birds lost their voice, that Eren spoke to Levi, voice rough with age, for the last time. “We’ve had a good life, haven’t we, Levi?”

Levi just hummed and let his eyes slide shut, letting Eren continue. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way. And I’m glad that you and I could spend our lives together, but I feel like it’s time, Levi. Don’t you?”

And Levi agreed, though he didn’t voice it. He simply let his hand slide over to Eren’s own and grasped it as tightly as his now fragile body would let him. He let a smile form on his lips, eyes still shut in a peaceful way. He looked serene, calm, at peace with the world and his life.

Eren let his eyes slip closed as well, his body curling toward Levi’s. Finally, his head came to rest upon the other’s shoulder, an equally peaceful look upon his face.

And the breeze stood still no longer, the birds cried out in a painful song, as they drifted into one final dream…

______________________________

He had once told himself he would never come back. He’d promised Eren that he would go see the world. But when the news had reached him of Eren’s passing, he had no choice but to return. Something had called to him, something that carried on the wind. He had ridden fast and hard, as fast and hard as his old age would allow.

It came as no surprise, when he arrived, to see the others there as well. The survivors of that final battle, whose hearts still beat firmly within their chests. Eren had given them their freedom, as had the Corporal. All of them had come to pay their respects, to wish the two well on their way, to say a final good bye.

He drew closer, feeling the eyes of all those upon him. They had been best friends, close comrades, family. He let the tears fall, something he hadn’t done since he was a fresh soldier preparing to face the titans. _This was how they would have wanted it_ , he thought as he gazed upon the two fresh graves.

Two mounds of dirt, two wooden crosses, lay side by side under the shade of the large tree that sat between their homes.

Two friends till the end of this life, to be forever together in their next.

Armin let his feet slide together, his back going as straight as he could make it go. His shoulders drew back as he straightened up, the tears still falling as he managed a small smile. He raised one hand to his heart and let the other slide behind him, until he was poised in the perfect salute. The rest followed, mimicking his actions; a final salute to their fallen friends.

Armin saw a flash of red in the corner of his eyes. He knew it was her. She would wait until the others had left before she approached, because after what had happened in the final battle, Mikasa had never been the same. No one had spoken to her in years, but obviously someone had risked finding and approaching her to let her know of Eren’s passing. He wondered if they were alive.

He turned to mount his horse though, looking back one last time at the grave of his best friend. The memories were fond and numerous. He would never forget and he knew he’d see him again.

“See you soon, Eren.” He said as he finally rode away, watching as a crow and a dove flew through the sky together up above him.

If anyone were to travel the area in the time after that day, they would find two little houses in disarray, a single tree between them, providing shade for the old, wooden porches. Under that tree would be two crosses, one with a blade stuck in the ground just next to it, and the other with a tattered red scarf wrapped about it. And if they stayed long enough or looked to the sky, they’d see a crow and a dove, both flying high.

______________________________

Once upon a time, they were asked to offer up their beating hearts…

_“Can you die if you’re ordered to?”_

_“Offer up your hearts!”_

But some things are more important than offering up one’s heart…

_“Promise me, that no matter how hard things get; that no matter how stupid or pointless your reason for killing the titans might suddenly seem; that you won’t give up and walk away.”_

_“Of course, sir. I promise.”_

Sometimes all one needs is the gift of a friend…

_“Happy birthday you little shit.”_

_“…That almost sounds endearing these days.”_

Sometimes that’s all it takes to change everything…

_“I dreamed, Eren. For the first time in years I dreamed. I slept in; it’s why I was late to get you that one morning. I was acting strange, surely you noticed, and it was all because I fucking dreamed. It sounds so crazy, it would be crazy if it were anyone else, wouldn’t it?”_

_“But I want you to know that I learned something from my dreams. I learned that I’m actually happy that things have played out this way. For all the loss, and the pain, I wouldn’t want it any other way. You don’t need to be me; you shouldn’t want to be me. You should want to be you. You should try to be happy with the life you have.”_

_“Don’t regret your life, Eren. Don’t spend time thinking of what could have been, just live. Do you understand?”_

And sometimes to be truly free, you both have to let go in the end…

_“We’ve had a good life, haven’t we, Levi?”_

_“I’m glad that you and I could spend our lives together…”_

_“I feel like it’s time, Levi. Don’t you?”_

 


End file.
